Dennis is a patient, kind and understanding man who knows when he has done wrong or done something daft. He usually expresses this knowledge by saying, "That's going to be a blog story isn't it?"
Today he was not wrong.
At 8.05 am on this damp, cold and thoroughly miserable day I awoke with a startling remembrance that my car was supposed to be in the garage for service. At 8am. Ooops.
Five minutes later I am washed and dressed and Dennis is staggering about rubbing his eyes still in PJ's but looking for trousers. "I'll drive down behind you and drive you home." He says.
"Great! I'll set off and I'll start to walk up the one way system and you can just pick me up."
Now, imagine the route a bit like this: Think of a tuning fork. The garage is at the bottom of the left hand prong. Add in a loop to join the prongs. That enclosed loop is now the one way system. The handle of the tuning fork is the A main road out of town. If you draw in an imaginary line from the top of the handle horizontally out to the left that is the B road. We live just off that. About 2 miles from the garage.
So, I drive down the A road, around the loop and drop the car off. Turns out the panic was for nothing as unusually the mechanic had not opened up yet, so I post the key and walk. Half way up the left hand prong I see Dennis shoot straight past me. I keep walking. It starts to rain. I keep walking. And walking and walking. Where does he pick me up? Five steps from the house, having driven around the loop no less than five times. It is a straight road. I am nearly six foot. There are no concealing crowds. I have a bright green coat on.
We go into the kitchen. I put the kettle on. He takes milk from the fridge and places it on the counter. He puts cornflakes into a bowl. Thinking he already used the milk, I reach right in front of him. I mean RIGHT in front of him. Like the milk was probably as far away from him as your screen is from you and he was facing that way. I take the milk use it, replace in the fridge. I take a sip and watch him look confused. Really confused. Bewildered.
"I thought I got the milk out...."
Do you think there is some particular reason that God missed really big bits out of men's brains when he created them?